Sometimes it just doesn't matter

That's what was happening in this week's ep of Grey's Anatomy - sometimes, regardless of your intentions or abilities you just get screwed. Been there on that, I can tell you. Too many times to count.

George has a heart the size of the Grand Canyon, but he spent the hour in the fake position of Chief's intern, primarily so the Chief could get back with his wife. Mer and Der want to save lives. So far, this new experimental, inject a virus into people's inoperable brain tumors surgery has been a dismal failure. They haven't saved anyone. In fact, two people have died. Christina Yang wants to be the best. She's the smartest. She works the hardest. She knows freakin' everything. (okay, her people skills suck, but isn't this a meritocracy?) But she can't get the surgeon she wants to mentor her to give her the time of day most of the time. And the specter of Dr. Preston Burke returns to stick her in the ass with his wonderful award that he doesn't even deserve.

Like I say, been there, done that. (okay, not exactly those things) But I've watched men get away with laxness that women never could. Watched some of the greatest teachers I know get ignored because the next best thing looked shinier. Watched "teachers pets" (the adult variety) get kudos for smoke and mirrors. Been snubbed cause I had a brain.

So what do you do? Well, if you're Mer and Der, you buy a bottle of bubbly and put it away for the day when you get it right. (okay, I'm hoping they open it anyway, get tipsy and get busy with one another, but whatever) If you're Yang or George, hopefully you lick your wounds and keep on trucking. And just swallow down the pain of being the one who held Preston Burke's scalpel (that's literal, not some skanky metaphor... although...) when he couldn't and then got nary a thank you.

And if you're me, you thank the powers that be for the world of publishing, which, while glacially slow some days, and certainly not perfect (see: James Frey) has given me my first delicious taste of being appreciated for my brain and abilities and not for coming up with a really pretty power point that actually has the intellectual depth of a blueberry muffin. Maybe less.

I'm lucky and thankful and crazy in love with the craft and all the truly clever people I'm getting to meet and work with.

Til next time...