Okay, so the digital 3D glasses thing simply rocked. There is nothing like having giant strands of monster spit lingering over your head. Or ooshy gooshy monster blood squishing around you. Or previews in 3D, too, which seriously was fantastic - there's a new Journey to the Center of the Earth coming out next summer that has my name written all over a seat in the multiplex.
But the rest of Beowulf was a mixed bag. If you've read the story, well, Neil Gaiman (truly a god of literature) takes some liberties with the story. Anyone who's seen the Angelina Jolie as Grendel's mother previews knows that. Cause hey, Grendel's mother in the original - more like Sasquatch lady, less sexy sea beast with high heels and really huge breasts -albeit -oddly - minus nipples and minus well, the other thing one would see in full frontal nudity. And Beowulf fighting Grendel naked? Uh??? Without weapons, yeah. Starkers? Not so much in the poem. Got to be kind of Austin Powers-esque each time they used something 3D to hide the male stuff... But the plasticized looking heinie - lots o' shots of that.
About 2 stars on the Joy o meter, I'd say, and most of those were for the funky special effects and yet another opporunity to see John Malkovich in a creepy role. If you know the poem, he's Unferth, the guy who taunts Beowulf when he first arrives to save Herot. But other than that, and a lot of digitized cartoon folks talking dirty ... well, not so thrilling, I'd have to say. I mean, how many times can you repeat the theme of guy can't keep it (not they would show it in this version - everyone is very Ken doll esque) in his pants? I get it. Move on.
However... the preview of Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd!!!! Oh my!!! I am sooooo there. Seriously. There. Johnny. Depp. Ahhhhh.
Til next time...