Thursday, January 17, 2008

The things they ask

Trying to get through close reading techniques today in class. Really. I was trying. Rollicking, rocking seniors - well, not so much. So it goes much like this (and yeah, I've combined a couple of days here because darn it, it's my blog so I can alter reality however I please. So there.)

Me: Okay, let's get started.
Random Student 1 (names not used so as to protect the innocent... okay not so innocent, but whatever): Okay... hahahahahahahaha.
Me: (Glaring look)
Me: Oh yeah, whose Econ book is that lying on the chair. It's been lying there for three days.
RS2: Maybe it's not a book. Maybe it's a Decepticon.
Me: (eye rolling. laughing. realizing why I suck at discipline and always have. It's cause I always, ALWAYS think they're funny. Cause they are.)
Everyone: (Lengthy digression on Transformer movie, Shia Lebouf and other related topics)
Me: (actually teaches close reading techniques and talks about diction, connotation, denotation, imagery, and other really cool literary stuff)
RS3: You know, you never really told us about your book. Really. You didn't.
Me: (Thinks - huh. I guess I didn't. Cause deal wasn't made public til 12/18 and then on 12/19 we left for Christmas break and before then I didn't really say much cause deal wasn't public)
Me: (Tells them about SPARK)
RS4: So the cover. Can you choose what's on the cover?
(I've been getting asked this A LOT lately. Don't quite know why, but clearly it's a favorite question. Which is really odd to me, but I guess not to anyone else. And I wish I had a great answer. One that was better than, "well, probably I won't have a lot of control over this since now that someone is paying me cash American, they probably get to decide. Sorry to burst your bubble)
RS5: Yeah. The cover. Can we all be on it? We could pose.
RS6: Yeah. We could. Are you going to dedicate it to us? You know we're your inspiration.
RS7: Can I go pee? I've been holding it forever. Really. (crosses legs and winces to make point)

And onward like that....
By 3:15, I headed out to have Starbucks with a colleague. We solved the problems of the world. Okay, no we didn't. But she believes we might have if that Starbucks hadn't been out of cranberry scones. Really. Refill the scones! Scones!! We want more.

Til next time...


Kym Brunner said...

I loved your imaginary conversations and how funny your students are. Even my fifth graders crack me up with their witty remarks. Here's my exchange:

Me: During colonial times..

Kid in back coughing, choking so alarmingly, I stop teaching.

Me (to the kid): OMG - are you okay?

Kid (hitting chest, gasping): Hairball!

Entire class cracks up, and we move on. Like you, I rely on mutual respect for discipline, which means I don't usually have a problem. The kid who takes advantage of my kindness is the kind who ticks me off and I'm almost untickable. :)

And as far as my books are concerned, my students always want me to name a character after them. Little do they know, bits and pieces of many of my students worm their way into my characters.

And some days, Starbucks is all that gets me through to lunch. KYM

nibbler said...

Oh man, that was my class! Stupid mikey, always getting us in trouble.. with his flatulence and the like.