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Monday, September 17, 2007

Let him drill, let him drill, let him drill

I think my dental woes are finally easing off. It all started quite innocently, then turned into a five act drama. Something like this:

Act I
Dentist's Office
Outisde the Houston humidity is filling the air.

Dentist: Well, Joy your old huge filling in your back molar is falling apart. And oh look, there's decay under there. Let's put in a crown.
Joy: Sigh... Okay.
Dentist: No worries. I will make the crown on my new spiffy porcelain crown making machine. It rocks. Really.
Joy: Cool. I guess.
::Sounds of crown being made in a machine. Sounds of drilling as decay is removed. Slight moaning because someone's mouth is almost impossible to properly numb and her whole face goes dead but the tooth keeps on ticking.::
Dentist: Look, isn't it pretty?
Joy: Ooh, crown. You're hot. I love you crown. Anything but more drilling.

Act II
Las Vegas
Caesar's Palace
Rao's Italian restaurant

Joy: La, la, la. I am having fun.
21 year old son: Yup, mama. Me too. Oh no. What's that odd look on your face? Aren't you enjoying your biscotti?
Joy: WTF! Look at this! :: fishes piece of something discreetly from mouth along with a hunk of biscotti::
21: WTF! :: bites the piece to check:: It's a piece of tooth
Joy: Aaaaarggg!!!
21: Walk it off, mama, it's Vegas.
Joy: Sigh... okay... only warm beers for me til we get home...

Act III
Dentist's office

Dentist: Huh... that wasn't supposed to happen. Guess this material isn't strong enough for a back molar.
Joy: Now you tell me?
:: Moaning while temporary crown is inserted::

Act IV
Dentist's office

Joy: Are you ready to put on my new crown? It's been two weeks and I'm flying to a wedding. Don't want to go with the temporary.
Dentist: We need to order a new one. The machine just isn't cutting it.
Joy:Aaaarrrg.
:: Sounds of drilling, crying:: Eventually dentist is cradling Joy's head and telling her that it will be okay and it's not often that the super cement sticks to the gums like this and has to be drilled off.

Act V
Dentist: Isn't the new crown pretty.
Assistant: Yes, isn't it lovely.
Joy: Just put it in. I'll close my eyes and think of England.

Til next time...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

AH! I have not been to dentist in at least 15 years. Finally went and need about 5 things done. Told dentist he would have to give me narcotic prior to my entering his office for any procedures. Gosh they now have a machine for just about everything..felt like I walked in a car place and they were selling me fabric protection and warranty.
I feel after 45-50 , that I might have 20 years left, so just pull it!
BK

Anonymous said...

Somewhere between laughing and cringing while reading your tooth drama...both funny ha-ha and funny uh-oh.

Ouch!!!! I hope everything is okay now.

~Beth

Anonymous said...

how are you feeling? go to youtube and type in Meerkat Manor..it will make you feel better.
Beck

Kim said...

I feel your pain! :(