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Monday, April 14, 2008

Dear Diary

If I'm ever feeling too full of myself (which honestly if you teach school you almost never are since getting up in front of a room of teenagers pretty much guarantees someone thinking you're an ass or a geek or a whatever and thus does not exactly put the bloom on your self-esteem rose some days.... yes, I know teachers who seem to never feel that way, never own up to a single awkward moment, but honestly I think they're definitely too full of themselves and that, folks is certainly another story that involves dividing all teachers into two basic categories - those who loved high school and were queen bees of everything and those like me who tolerated it until they could move on to the rest of their life which was so much better of an adventure) all I have to do is pull out that remnant of my geeky self past - the diary I kept during grades 6-8.

It is, as one would expect, filled with the angsty drivel of my junior high self. Page upon page of unbridled longing for some guy named David who at this moment I can't even picture in my head except that he had dark hair, I think. Endless post mortems of parties I went to. Even more endless angst during the couple of months when I was thrust into social Siberia for befriending someone everyone else decided they didn't like and the crappy things I did to regain favor from people who absolutely didn't deserve it.

But somehow, I've never burned the darn thing. Because I don't think it's a bad thing to remember how that all felt. So good and bad and horrible and wonderful all at once. So much feeling you thought you'd die from it.

So David, no last name, wherever you are - if you're wearing a black hoodie and ancient jeans, well so am I. It's a sign, David. Just like in seventh grade when we both wore blue on the same day two times in one week.

Anyone else have humiliating diaries lurking in their t shirt drawer??

Til next time...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes I too have my diaries from same period and even later. Weird..I knew I would have a daughter and I always started Dear Daughter. LIKE I would EVER let her read it! NOOOOOO. Not that I did bad things, I was just a really horrible/sad/bitter kid. I hated my parents, was nuts about boys and hated school.
I keep in contact with a pal from then and I scanned and emailed him a page about when I broke up with him! LOL! Hilarious!
Worst was my mom found the one I wrote in a big chief tablet and read it and told me. I swore NEVER to snoop on my kids and have stuck with it. Somewhere I even kept a notebok of notes that were written to me by one of my friends.

off topic...you know Jeff is a Gatsby fanatic. He is sooooooo mad that the teacher spent like 3 months on the Dick and 1 week on Gatsby! OUCH!

Hey have a wonderful , kosher and love filled Pesach!

HAG SAMECH PESACH!!!

Tell Jacob that Adriel and BF are going to Crawfish festival on Saturday ( yea great way to start Pesach!) if he wants to come hang with them there... Bex

Emily Achenbaum said...

Greetings Joy,

My name is Emily Achenbaum and I'm a reporter with the Chicago Tribune. I'm writing an obituary for Norma Bernsohn, who passed away Tuesday at age 91. I'm looking for teachers and writers who were inspired by her, and found your blog. If you're willing to speak with me for the story, could you please send me your phone number and a good time to reach you? You can also reach me at the numbers below. My deadline is Thursday at 4 p.m. (CT).

Thanks very much, Emily

Office: 847-918-2817
email: eachenbaum (at) tribune.com