Friday, May 30, 2008

Ch ch ch changes

I'm not good with change. Okay, that's not exactly true. I LIKE change. But it scares the pee out of me. Always so hard to let go... except when it isn't. But I'm embracing it with a full heart right now because my life really is different. And I've needed to make some changes to keep it that way.

To be specific - It has finally and truly dawned on me that SPARK really is coming out next year and that my work in progress, currently titled CUT BACK, is getting through its 2nd draft and I'll be polishing it up for submission some time this summer or early fall. SPARK's designed as a trilogy, so those are in progress in various stages in hopes that that will actually come to be. And another novel, my frothy Sweet Dreams, is poking around as well. In short, a full time job worth of stuff. Now of course, I have a full time job, which is about to go on hiatus for the summer. But come mid August, I'll be back at it. And will most likely stay at it for some more years. But honestly, something had to give. I was teaching three separate preps - and something had to go. My brain could only continue to divide itself so many ways without just imploding.

And so.... I requested something of my principal that surprised me. And he (or rather, the AP delegated to this task) said yes. I have given up the honors classes and will teach only 12th grade level English and a section of Creative Writing, both of which are more than enough.And you know - I thought my ego was going to have a hard time with this. But surprise... it didn't. I'm totally okay with giving up something that I know a few years back I'd have never let go. Which tells me something else kind of exciting and new - I've changed. Didn't see it coming. But it did. I can't do it all, so I'm not even going to try. Writing is where my heart is these days and I've embraced that. I've watched the sharks circle to snap up my honors classes. Nodded when they went to the right person. Embarked on a process of cleaning out files (when you've been at this awhile, your files can be sort of a world of their own, esp. if you started prior to everything being kept electronically. Yes, there was such a time and it wasn't that long ago honestly, at least within the school building. Most of us kept to the manilla folder route for a long while if only to reuse certain quizzes and handouts and not run off new every single time).

And moved on.

Sometimes, you just surprise yourself.

Til next time...


Becki said...

Giving up some things is sometimes really refreshing and cathartic. Just saying NO when people ask you to volunteer for this or that can make you feel liberated to. Not that I am against volunteerism...but sometimes you need to move on.
I have seen some of the kids teachers/admins that seem so burned out and they seem to hate kids and their jobs. Best you give up something and not get burned out.

Kim said...

Good for you!!! It was SOOOOOO good to see you.

Anonymous said...

I second that: Good on ya!